Self-Deprecation
In Search of a Wisewoman
Self-deprecation as opposed to just deprecation, which comes from the Latin ‘deprecari’- to ward off by prayer or to plead an excuse comes from the 1620’s and came to mean to express disapproval of something to self-deprecation is described as the act of belittling or undervaluing oneself often through humour. The term originated in the English language in the mid 1800’s. Making jokes about one’s own abilities, downplaying achievements or using negative self-talk are used to express modesty or invoke optimal reactions to make an individual appear more likeable and agreeable. The Stoics recommended self-deprecation as a response to insults. The cold grip of Calvinism echoed through parenting for centuries to keep children from feeling any pride in themselves.
Humans have long been concerned with jinxing something by attracting bad luck knowing the impermanence of good fortune. Getting above oneself, showing arrogance or conceit is off-putting particularly in British culture. One who is the smartest person in the room doesn’t need to broadcast it. One who behaves immodestly will quicky annoy those who find such conduct abhorrent. As a response, using self-deprecation is a defense mechanism used before one becomes the target of those all too willing to burst the ego balloon.
Somewhere there is a balance. Too often we don’t try to attempt something for fear not so much of failure, but of the criticism that will readily be offered. We don’t take pride in accomplishments because that spear hovers over one’s psyche. Those who would bring one down to their level too often succeed. Those who are utterly irksome because no one did bring them down to where they belong are loathsome. Those who have learned to laugh at themselves because they don’t take themselves too seriously are the sweet spot of self-deprecation that allow them to shine but not to over dazzle those less fortunate.