Parenting, did not become word until the 1970 ‘s but it has become a minefield of conflicting advice, pressures to conform to unreasonable standards, and the ultimate promotion of skewed values resulting in children having an unreasonable sense of entitlement. Many years ago some young parents made a comment to me regarding their child. My reply to the situation was to ask, “do you allow your young child to drive the car?” The response was one a horrified, “No!” I said, “Why then are you allowing your child to run the house.”
Parents have a really tough job with more perils than sharp objects and dashing into traffic. Not only are parents overscheduled themselves but they are juggling impossible demands from work, social obligations and family commitments. They are sleep-deprived and stretched financially, emotionally and psychologically. Job One is to teach children to be decent humans who are responsible, caring and self-sufficient. I told my children, all of life is keeping warm, fed, housed and clean and until such time as you are wealthy enough to hire out, you need to learn how to do these things for yourself as I am not going to “ Be Mother” the rest of your lives.
An annoying series of TV adds are promoting preschool children behaving badly and the parent caving in. Giving a child responsibilities and reasonable choice is good practice. There is a need for all of us to learn the word no early so it sets healthy boundaries. Those tiny computers are on. Live by a example knowing there will be the times you slip up that they will use to regale others for years to come. I’ve been unintentionally eccentric, and made enough mistakes to be fodder to keep their psych counsellors ever employed. I can only hope they knew through all of it that I was doing the best I could and that I unquestionably loved them. I gave them what time I could with enough benign neglect that allowed them to evolve as their own persons, learning while they may not have had my attention when they wanted it, they had it when they needed it. That’s is the bottom line of parenting. Do the best you can, forgive yourself, but above all, someone has to be the adult.