Defiance

In Search of a Wisewoman

The word defiance comes from the Latin ‘dis’ - aeway + ‘ fidus’ - faithful, trust = disfidare’ - to renounce one’s faith or trust, to the Old French word ‘desfiance’ - a challenge or declaration of war to the English word of the 1300’s, ‘defiance’ - standing up against power. Today, we use defiance to mean open, bold resistance to authority, rules, or power. It can also mean a daring challenge to fight, refusing to obey or submit to someone in charge, or to show a lack of care or a contempt for rules or danger.

Parents who have survived raising teenagers well know the full body language signifying defiance. This is an age where boundaries are tested. A wise parent knows when to bend just as a wise parent knows that holding the line is a security blanket of that age group where until the hypothalamus catches up, there needs to be a set of guide ropes in situ. The tiny mongoose is a symbol of defiance to the deadly cobra. The image of something as small as a chihuahua that itself believes it is a mastiff and those who have not heeded its shrill defiance find out the hard way they bitr. Often the most easily dismissed prove to be the most difficult adversary.

The Serenity Prayer offers the best advice when one is thinking about defiance. Some things really do need to be changed. Some things we can. Knowing where we can apply our defiance effectively requires wisdom and exquisite timing doesn’t hurt either.